DAY:19

 

I was up till four in the morning because I wasn’t able to bring myself to take a shower. It was way too cold.

 Usually after a shower I become a happy person, but today I was feeling very uneasy. Without wasting anytime, I went to sleep, because I knew if I didn’t, I would unwillingly start thinking about a lot of unnecessary things. I woke up at two-thirty. I wished to sleep longer, but my phone was filled with all the work I missed, and I couldn’t slack off anymore just because I wasn’t feeling happy. I did some of the remaining work that Hrshitha had yet to get to. By the time I got off bed it was three in the afternoon. I sat in front of the TV with my lunch, since chechi was watching “You”, I watched it along with her. I’m not a fan of the show, so when I was done with my lunch I went back into my room. My plan was to lie down for a while, peacefully, but Pablo was busy putting his head out the window and barking his guts out, at dogs who could barely hear him. At first it annoyed me, but after a while I also got myself engaged in this threatening dog conversation of his, it was quite amusing to see him so concentrated in making himself heard to animals, who didn’t even bother noticing him. Spending time with him I didn’t realise it was already four.

I got on with my classes, and today I was super concentrated, It’s been a few days since I was this concentrated, probably because I wanted to keep thoughts that might ruin my mood out of my head, I was quite vulnerable today and I was sure it will happen sometime today and I wanted to delay it as much as possible. Once I was done with my class I got dressed to take Pablo for a walk, this is when I noticed that amma was also getting dressed, I was so happy thinking that  she would join us today, but she was actually getting dressed to go out with Sabina aunty. When I was talking to amma, chechi came asking her if we could order taco’s, I wanted McDonald’s but whatever. Pablo and I left after I selected a taco I don’t remember the name of. When I got down, I called Prarthana, I was so happy to find that she was free, then we called Sheela and the three of us talked for over an hour. Since I was a slightly distracted by the call, Pablo decided to act out. He was barking at everybody today, and at one point I had to carry him away, and he ended up scratching my neck, it really stings. But its fine because I was so happy that I’ll finally be meeting those two day after tomorrow, after so long. This news really was the highlight of my day. I can’t explain how excited and happy I am.

When I came back home after our walk, the tacos had arrived. I ate one and left the other for later. Amma came home around seven-thirty, with amma I ate the remaining of the tacos. Since we had just eaten, we planned to workout at eight-thirty. Chechi had bought extra nachos, and all through that one hour gap I was hogging on them, in regular intervals. By eight-thirty I was so full, yet ignoring this we started our workout. Mid way through the workout all the taco’s and nachos started working out in my stomach, I felt so sick, and today we had four programs to follow, believe me I have no idea how I pulled myself through the whole thing without puking. One should never ignore a full stomach before workout. After the workout I came to bed, and haven’t got off my since then, and I have no plans on it till tomorrow morning. Since I’m still vulnerable to overthinking, I’m going to sleep right away.

Good night.

Hopefully I wake up happy tomorrow.