ROSE

   Forty-two days that’s a long time. It’s not unexpected to go off track. We’re all just mortals, we can’t be perfect, all you can do is try, sometimes we might fall off. But what matters is what we do when we fall. You didn’t fail the day you fell; you failed the day you decided not to get back up. There are so many incidences I regret because I didn’t bother to get myself up. So many things I started and never completed, so many times I didn’t even bother to try. And I always found the easy way out, just blame it on someone and forget the whole thing. But I can’t do that my entire life. I can’t blame amma anymore because I was lazy, I can’t blame chechi for my wrong choices, I can’t blame achacha for my inefficiency. It’s my life and I need to own up to my mistakes. And this time I am going to do just that. I’m going to do it forty-two days at a time, and I’ll pick myself up each time I fall and keep repeating the cycle. Getting into what I was doing the past couple o...

  Oh my God!!! Seriously what a day!!! I haven’t felt this great in so long…. You can’t compare anything to a day with your best friends. I had to wash the car today. I knew if I left it for later, I wouldn’t do it. So, for the first time in days, I woke up at nine-thirty. Though, I got off my bed only around ten. The first thing I did even before brushing my teeth, was go down to the basement and wash the car. Since it was still pretty clean from the previous wash, there wasn’t much to clean. I first dusted, then wiped it with a wet cloth and the wiped it dry again. When came back up, all sorts of animals were running in my stomach. I thought we had something special for breakfast, seeing how excited amma was. Not till I looked at my plate did I realise it was just upma, I have no clue why she was excited making upma. I went to bed to lie down for a while because I was super lazy to take a bath and get ready. That’s when Sheela texted “let’s dress up”. I wasn’t really into i...

  Why is it so hard for me to wake up early? I woke up at two-thirty again. I was so prepared to wake up early, I even kept alarm. Why is nothing working out. More over why is amma so irresponsible, shouldn’t she make sure I wake up on time? The day was very uneventful…. Pablo tried to make friends with fluffy, didn’t last too long. He’s jealous of me petting other dog’s. We didn’t have workout to do so I just lied on my bed, for the rest of the day. I’m so excited to meet my friends tomorrow…

  I was up till four in the morning because I wasn’t able to bring myself to take a shower. It was way too cold.   Usually after a shower I become a happy person, but today I was feeling very uneasy. Without wasting anytime, I went to sleep, because I knew if I didn’t, I would unwillingly start thinking about a lot of unnecessary things. I woke up at two-thirty. I wished to sleep longer, but my phone was filled with all the work I missed, and I couldn’t slack off anymore just because I wasn’t feeling happy. I did some of the remaining work that Hrshitha had yet to get to. By the time I got off bed it was three in the afternoon. I sat in front of the TV with my lunch, since chechi was watching “You”, I watched it along with her. I’m not a fan of the show, so when I was done with my lunch I went back into my room. My plan was to lie down for a while, peacefully, but Pablo was busy putting his head out the window and barking his guts out, at dogs who could barely hear him. At f...

  What a hectic day…… I don’t think I sat for even an hour peacefully. Amma woke me up at one o’clock, because chechi had to go to her office, and amma was stuck in a meeting. I didn’t want another fight like last time with her leaving by herself, so I got ready as soon as I was woken. Also, I really wanted to get out of the house, and I couldn’t afford to miss this opportunity. In the excitement of being able to get out of the house, I didn’t grasp the extent of the commitment I just made. We left the house on a journey that seemed never ending. By the time we got home it was almost four. I hadn’t had a single drop of water from the time I woke up. And when I returned home, my OCD overpowered my hunger. I couldn’t help myself from cleaning the kitchen and making my bed. When I finally sat to eat it was four thirty, and I had a ton of things to do through out the day. I quickly had my lunch, and sat for my class, finally the wi-fi was working. After class, Pablo and I went ...

  I was tired even before the day started. I woke up at 10:30 with massive pain in my stomach. Lying on the bed trying to suppress the pain, I fell back to sleep. When I woke up again it was around one-thirty. I thought the pain was gone, but seconds after getting off the bed it reappeared, and I retraced my steps back to bed. Around three thirty, when I felt better, I got up to have lunch. Lunch was same as yesterday, what wasn’t the same was my reaction to it. But it’s fine amma was busy with work and she didn’t have time to prepare anything. I think it’s been days since I sat with chechi to have any meal. We broke the curse today by having lunch together, while watching “Modern Family”. This again is one of those rare shows we enjoy together. After lunch, as we were enjoying “Modern Family” an alarm went off. It was the oven. The awaited “Focaccia bread” was finally ready. The Mystery was unraveled, and I discovered Focaccia bread means over salted, over buttered plain bread...

I finally made up for all the sleep I missed. I slept like a dead person for an entire twelve hours. I would have slept longer if it wasn’t for chechi. She was planting her tiny garden in our room, and all that noise disturbed my sleep. When I opened my eyes, I asked her for the time. She told me it was four in the evening, and I didn’t question it one bit. I’m completely capable of sleeping through the day, and have done this on multiple occasions. But since there was a call scheduled at four, to discuss about next plan of action for INCOGNITO, I dragged myself of the bed and went to freshen up. This is when I realised it’s only two in the afternoon. I’m pretty sure I would have gone back to sleep if she hadn’t lied. The first thing I did was take a quick bath. When I got out, I did my usual clean up around the house. By the time I was done, the time was three fifteen, and I was starving. I was so happy to see prawns curry for lunch. I’m one of those people who prefer sea food over ...

 I’ve completely lost track of day and night. Yesterday, around 10 I sat to pen my blog. After spending almost four hours, writing what I considered one of my best work till date, and feeling extremely satisfied with my work, I was relieved that now I can finally hog something and go to bed. It was nearing two in the morning, and I was making my final edits. All of a sudden, the page goes blank. All the work I put in disappeared into thin air. I tried everything I knew to undo what befell me. I wasn’t ready to accept that all my hard work is now no more. I couldn’t help myself from tearing up, and I really needed my sleep. Usually when such things happen the first person, I go to is amma, but she was deep in her sleep, and I’m terrified of waking her up. Even if my house was invaded by terrorist waking my mother would be more horrifying. I felt so lost, and I really needed to cry to someone. I called one of my closest friend, she was in the middle of her sleep. Hearing my cry, sh...

 I am addicted to monopoly...... Yesterday night amma almost lost her temper with me, I was pestering her to oil my hair for hours. When  she was done oiling my hair, My friend called me to play monopoly. I won the first game, probably the only reason for this to happen was, it was his first time using this app. Quite obviously he won the second game. After two rounds, he was done and got back to his work. For some reason I couldn't get myself to stop and for hours I continued playing with random people. It was almost 2 in the morning, and I decided I'll wash my hair tomorrow, and went to bed. After minutes of twisting on the bed, I thought one more game will do no harm, this went on for long, till I looked outside the window and realized it's almost dawn. I had to wake up early today, and playing monopoly till 6 in the morning was no help. Around 11, my inner-voice spoke to me, it reminded me two things, first, for weeks every Friday night I have been making full fledg...

Just like yesterday, this morning too, I woke up multiple times checking my phone. At 12:30 I got a text from Harshitha, she had drafted the speech for INGONITO's inauguration which will be held tomorrow. This was the last time I fell back to sleep. I read the speech, and after multiple rounds of editing, which took us more than half an hour, we were done. At fifteen minutes past One, I finally got off the bed, and went to freshen up.  I'm trying to inculcate the habit of drinking water every morning. I drank my water, and went to watch TV. Since "THE CROWN" ended, I don't know what new show I should start next. In such circumstances I always swear by "The Middle",then I had my lunch, I played fetch with Pablo for a while, and wasted some more time. It was now 3:30, I was already out of things to amuse myself, So I decided to start my class. Today I learnt how to create different form's of online advertisements, one of which was video advertising. An...

 I woke up multiple times this morning. I wanted to make sure that I was reachable. Each time I woke up, there was a text waiting to be replied to. By 12,   I was fed up with the on and off machine I was turning into, and I finally got off the bed.  Today's task was to come up with a content for the website. Unlike yesterday, I didn't want to sit on a pile of work by evening, and not be able to spend proper time for other activities. So, the first thing I did was write up something and send it to Harshitha. Once that was off my shoulder's, I sat to relax in-front of the TV with my food. I think today is the longest I watched TV in days. Till four o'clock, I was glued to the TV. In my defence when I'm watching "The Middle" I loose track of time. "The Middle" is chechi's and my favorite show to binge on. We could have watched it over and over a thousand times, and still be just as hooked the next time we watch it. I think it's probably beca...

It's almost 11 in the night. I have no idea how today's blog is going to turn out.... Today was a hectic day, and I'm super tired.        I woke up all excited about being part of the INCOGNITO community. I had my lunch, and started my class half hour earlier, and took Pablo for walk by 5. By 5:20, we got back home giving me ample time to get ready for my first meeting as a member of INCOGNITO. It was a simple meeting, with it's main agendas being, first, Harshitha (my teammate) and I get to know each-other. Second, a briefing about the community, what we're trying to achieve, and mine and Harshitha's role in the community. It was causal and smooth.   At 6, I joined the second meeting. It started of good, but soon everyone derailed, from the main discussion, which was the inauguration function to be held on 15th of August. Until half the meeting was over, I hadn't realized that 15th August is just 3 days away. And that's when it struck me, there's a ...

I had full intentions of waking up early today, or maybe not.... No matter my intentions, I slept till 2:30. If not for amma's cutlet's, I might have slept longer. I was probably tired from all the sleep I had yesterday!!! Today was supposed to be one of those regular days. I wasn't looking forward to anything. I woke up, I had my lunch, I watched June, a Malayalam movie about coming of age. I didn't get to the end of the movie. You see it was already 4, and my body and brain is now programmed to do things at the assigned time, discipline can do miraculous things; except fix my sleep cycle. I sat to attend my class; today's topic; online advertising.  One new thing I did was, decide to start drinking green tea. I'm not sure if I want to continue this. Or maybe I should have stuck to the normal green tea, that comes in tea bag's.  That was my initial intention, but amma was praising this new thing "GREEN TEA WITH SPIRULINA", that chechi bought and n...

Today was not a great day, I had no mood to do anything, whatsoever. I had no intentions of waking up today, I just wanted to sleep through the day. Unfortunately I couldn't, around 12 in the afternoon, chechi woke me up asking me to take her to the ICAI office. I agreed and asked her to let me sleep for another five minutes, but she was rushing me, so I got off the bed and went into the bathroom. There too she kept banging the door, it's not like I didn't understand her urgency, BUT I NEED TO BRUSH MY TEETH. As soon as I was done, I went to the room and picked up the first pair jeans, and a shirt I could find. While I was buttoning the last button, chechi lost her patience and lashed out saying she doesn't need me to take her, and that she'll take an auto. If that was what she was eventually going to do then, why wake me up? why waste all that time for both of us? I was so furious, even after she had left the house I couldn't stop screaming at her. I went back ...

 At 11:30 amma was on the phone with her friend, I don't understand  why she has to be so obnoxiously loud all the time, especially when I'm trying to get some sleep. I tried to block her voice out but it was impossible. As my last resort I woke Pablo from his sleep on chechi's comfortable bed, and carried him into mine to cuddle. I tried my best to fall back to my sleep with him in my arms, but his twisting and turning really didn't help. I gave up in fifteen minutes. I went to the bathroom to freshen up, when I looked at the mirror, I was so happy. Today was one of those good hair days, and a good hair day is always a happy day. (Pablo continued to sleep) As a child my hair was something I was very conscious about, anybody would be if they're constantly  being picked on for something, constantly made fun off. Every person I met had something to comment about it, oil your hair, comb your hair, what not. It was at home, at school, even people I've never met befo...

  Life has started falling into a routine..... Waking up in the middle of the day, having lunch while watching TV, then continue watching TV till around 4, then from 4 to 6 attend the class, sometimes it extends longer. To my surprise this is what I enjoy the most in my day. Then somehow time passes by till 7-7:30, and Amma and I start our workout. When we finally manage to complete that, I sit to write, and pester my mother to read every paragraph. I shouldn't be saying this but its no fun to write when there's nothing new to share and from my past two posts my disinterest is clearly seen. I woke up at 12:15 today, it's a Saturday, the energy in the house wasn't great. I came into the hall and Chechi was watching the news about the plain crash in Calicut, what can be more depressing. I went into the washroom to freshen up, when I came out the front room was desolated. I went into the kitchen, to see what was there to eat, I opened the casserole to see Appam and beside ...

I've been working on something since a few day's. This is my first attempt at portrait sketching. As an amateur I'm proud of my work. looking forward to  bettering my skills.  Do tell me what you guys think.....

After surprising myself by waking up early for two consequent days, today I gave into my sleep.  It was 12:30 in the afternoon. I was sound asleep enjoying my dreams, unaware of my surroundings. I suddenly woke up screaming for Amma, terrified from an explosive sound from the kitchen, but my body still felt paralyzed, and thoughts of what might have happened horrified me. When I manged to come to my senses, I rushed to the hall, the house filled with commotion. Somebody was ringing the doorbell, Pablo was barking to his full capacity, Amma and Chechi doing all possible things to calm him down. Finally Amma managed to open the door, it was the housekeeping enquiring something about the waste, once she left, Amma closed the door, Pablo calmed down, and I got a chance to ask Amma of the sound that send chills through my neck.     Amma had left the cooker on the stove to cook rice, and got distracted by an important call. The water in the cooker started to evaporate, increasi...

Reading this might give my grandparents a heart attack....    After nagging Amma for several days, I finally wore her down to let me go meet my friends....    I kept the alarm for ten in the morning, and went to bed. My excitement was so out of control, that I was awake even before the alarm went off. We were supposed to meet at twelve and I was ready by 12:15. The thing is, I love to dress up, and its been more than a month since I got such an opportunity. More over my sister just bought a new shade of lipstick, and I've been dying to wear it out. And not to forget I was thrilled to show my new shoes to my friends. So I took my own time and dolled up.    It was a cloudy day, and all morning I hoped it wouldn't rain. As I rode out of the basement with my below average riding skills and even lower confidence, what I dreaded was awaiting me. The fear that if I continue I would either kill myself or someone on the road, and also not wanting the efforts I put t...

The sweet aromas of cardamom, jaggry, coconut, and ghee filled the air. It was nine thirty. The peak hour of my sleep. But even this couldn't stop the commotion in my brain, ultimately I had to give into the temptation....     There was massive preparation going on in the kitchen. Amma was screaming "Allu get up, or you'll miss the hot hot obbattu just off the tawa". Lakshmi aunty who helps Amma with chores around the house had offered to make this delicacy for us. No matter how much importance I give my sleep, this wasn't something I planned to miss. I rushed to the bathroom to freshen up, and within minutes went into the kitchen for my share of the obbattu. I took the first bite and there was no stopping. Aunty has magic in her hands!!!     Since I woke up so early, for the obbattu I hadn't washed my face with the plan to resume my sleep. After hogging all I could, I returned to bed but sleep evaded me, and believe me I tried my best.... Three hours of twist...

I had a good feeling about today; after all between my sleep and me, I had gained upper hand . I woke up at 12:30, a full half hour earlier than yesterday. Some might judge me for flaunting it, but to me its nothing less than an achievement, and I was ecstatic. To add to this overwhelming happiness, I just realized that the Goddess of fitness has bestowed her mercy on us mere mortals. I mean today's workout was supposed to be only 10 minutes.      For breakfast, I served myself a bowl of hot milk with an extra large portion of chocos and  enjoyed it to the very last sip. I'm doubting that I might be on the verge of an addiction. Is it normal to have two full bowls of chocos the night before, and crave for more the first thing in the morning?    The rest of my day was normal, so normal that I had pongal for lunch. I know its not something people usually crave. But in my case I used to truly relish this dish. To my misfortune, the first time Amma made it I ex...

DAY:1 Can't say that it started off well, and I have no one else to blame but me..... You see, from a very young age sleep has been my best friend but over the years one can say it has let me down quite a lot, and unfortunately the reason wasn't insomnia but rather the opposite "over indulgence". The sun rose! it was time to set on my new journey, I had asked my mother the previous night to wake me up because I know I'm completely incapable of this on my own. She and my sister did all things possible to wake me, but to no avail . That morning we were supposed to go buy plants for a new venture my sister started, in which I too was passionate . However, like most times I slept through it. I finally dragged myself of bed by around one in the afternoon. I decided to be optimistic , rather than drag myself down for the morning I missed. Because I woke up almost two hours earlier than my usual timings. In a way I was glad I didn't go plant shopping with them..... I...